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Things I Still Have Not Forgiven Myself For
A list poem written after b.yanaga
loving the same guy thrice. having a crush on him because he had lemon-yellow skin. getting into a puppy-love relationship with him, though I knew about his playboy shenanigans. sending my brain on a vacation to Corsica, while I got into a serious relationship with the above-mentioned guy and ended up as a mass of broken glass. leaving a boy who made me his world for two years. breaking up with him over a text message that he has chosen to converse with his present girlfriend through hand-written letters. choosing science over art, as if I could write a code for human cloning and not vomit metaphors. making mistakes. making more mistakes. making ‘making mistakes’ as a way of life. swimming in the regret ocean a tad too much. hoping that he loved me too. believing that things would happen between us. longing for him. pining over unrequited love. making every fucking thing about him and my love for him. screwing up my whole life, basically.
©Kavya Janani. U
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